As stated before, I believe everything happens for a reason. Therefore "failure" is not really a failure at all, but something you had to go through to get where you are going. Therefore, can you ever really fail at something? Sure, you can fail a test, but what does that truly mean? Does it mean you failed at learning the subject matter? Does it mean you failed at mastering the art of test-taking? Or does it simply mean you are not meant to fully understand that subject but there are plenty of other things you are great at? Let me give you a real life example of what some might see as failure, but it was just the path I needed to go on. But first, a little background...
An old intern of mine, Kristen (who is absolutely fabulous, by the way, and I can't wait to see where her path takes her), asked if we could go out for dinner to talk about how I got where I am. I was honored by this request and of course obliged. As a recent graduate, she was stressing about finding the right job and knowing whether to take the first thing that came along or holding out for something better (I do not envy her for graduating in this economy). After hearing her concerns, it was clear that students these days have misconceptions about their path. Looking back, I had the same fears when I graduated. Think about it, your whole life up until that point, you knew exactly what was coming next...You start school, you go up through the grades, after high school, there's college, in college there are internships, but after college....who knows! That's the beauty of it and also the terror of it...These students believe that before they graduate they should know exactly what they are going to do, have that job lined up, and that's where you are going to be for an undetermined long period of time. I don't blame them. And when graduation nears, and that job has not been solidified yet, that's about the time when people start to freak out! What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? Please don't make me live with my parents again! That is how society has brought us up. Now, I wish I knew someone like me when I was in school to tell me what I told Kristen. And if someone from the future, told the 21 year-old version of myself what my life would be like even a year after graduating, I would not have believed it. But everything happens for a reason...
The first thing I told Kristen was this: "Your first job is not going to be your last..." It's true! And as simple as it may seem, it's not something that really hits home for students nowadays. In my first year outside of school, I worked at four different agencies...yes, I said FOUR! If anyone told me that my first agency would have gone bankrupt and closed 4 months after I was hired, I probably wouldn't have accepted the job. But it turned out to be a great stepping stone to where I am today. I learned so much in that first job (including what not to do and what kind of things to watch out for in a company) and made so many great life-long connections, that I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. My second agency was a freelance gig. Again, I got so much out of my few months working beyond what I thought were my limits and honing my skills, that it was another great stepping stone. My third agency was a learning experience of what I do not want in life. To put it in the smallest nutshell I can possibly squeeze it into, I quote one of the Partners of this particular organization, "...Sounds to me like you're working for 'The Devil Wears Prada'..." But luckily, after all my hard work and determination, the very day I had a meltdown in the office and decided I could no longer go on that way, I got the best phone call ever...the agency I aspired to work at "one day" wanted to interview me for a position...Now if that's not a sign that I've got greater powers looking over me, I don't know what is! So here I am, working at a place a love, with wonderful people, inspirational managers, and awesome accounts, loving what I do every day.
The second piece of advice I gave Kristen was this, "Do what you love or make sure it's a learning experience..." This is important. Now, the end goal is to have both of these in the equation (as I do, which is why I'm so happy), but think about it... If you don't love going to work every day, it's going to be miserable (trust me, I know)...and if you are miserable, it's not good for yourself or the people you work for/with. Dreading going to work everyday takes a physical, mental and emotional toll on someone! It's horrible. Now here's the kicker, if you can't get to where you love your job yet (which is the case for many people so you're in good company), start going along the stepping stones of learning the things you need to get there. Everything and everyday should be a learning experience. It's like dating. If you get nothing else from dating a bunch of duds except knowing exactly what you don't want in a relationship, then that's a huge success! You're not a failure because of "failed" relationships. You're learning about what you do and don't want in life.
And finally, I told Kristen, "Don't be afraid to be aggressive in getting what you want..." Go for it! No one got anywhere by playing it safe. If you don't go out full steam ahead, trying to grab your dreams, you won't find them. If your dream job right out of school is to be an account executive at a specific ad agency, then you reach out to every person you know, expand your network, think outside the box and strive for it. Heck, go ahead and call up the president of the company! The worst they can say is "No." And if every time someone thought receiving a "no" was a failure, most of us wouldn't be where we are today.
Famous Failures is a great video that shows some of the most successful people who didn't take "no" or little "failures" to hold them back.
The word "failure" is very subjective. So turn your "failures" into successes by looking at them as learning experiences, if nothing else...
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