Just Say No

This isn't about what they taught us in health class...When's the last time someone asked you to do something and you said no? I'm not talking about being rude. I'm talking about saying no to something you physically, mentally or emotionally could not do for your own well being, or the well being of your team.  

- Can you write that 150 page report and get it on my desk in 3 hours? 
- No. (That's physically not possible)  

- Can we push back this meeting? 
- No. (That would cut the timeline too close)  

- Can you work late tonight? 
- No. (You already have plans and the work can wait until tomorrow)


I've recently discovered that it's okay to say no. And that not only is it okay, but sometimes it's necessary.  

- No, this is not urgent so I will not be spending the night here working on it.
- No, you cannot treat me like that. 
- No, I will not let this affect me. 
- No, I will not be accessible while I'm on vacation. 
- No, you cannot call me at 11pm, I will be in the office by 9am and we can talk then. 
- No, we cannot do xyz by 123 deadline, but we can do abc by 123 deadline or xyz by 567 deadline. 


Saying no is not just a personal revelation, either. It's also a professional one. 

- You want to push up the presentation by a day? I'm sorry, but my team will not be ready and we want to make sure what you see is at 100%. 
- No, I will not be calling you on vacation. You relax, and if we need anything, we'll get someone to fill in. 


Saying no is about determining what the priorities are, and sifting through the crap to make sure those priorities are taken care of. Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People says it very well:

"...you have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage-- pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically-- to say "no" to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger "yes" burning inside...you are always saying "no" to something. If it isn't to the apparent, urgent things in your life, it is probably to the more fundamental, highly important things..."

Think about it...sometimes you need some time to unwind and work on your personal life and have to say no to certain things at work. Sometimes you give up things in your personal life to get ahead at work (the key word here is sometimes). It all depends on what your priorities are, what your goals are in life and what your physical, mental and emotional needs are. And it's not all about giving things up or saying no. It's about rearranging your priorities, recognizing your own needs, making compromises and figuring out alternatives to the choices at hand.


The power of "no" is quite liberating. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do...or not do, for that matter. So next time someone asks you to do something you really can't or don't want to do, say no ("pleasantly, smilingly, apologetically").